June 20th

So ive been noticing that to get a better sleep i need to wake up about 7amish for my morning puke and have breakfast while still laying down otherwise after every few table spoons of whatever im having it comes up right away... so no more toast for breakfast unless if i eat it real slow...like REAL slow.. i cant breath when it comes up.

Ive been home since Friday with Matthew he's cleaned the house vaccumed and cooked me food cut up my apples even rinsed my puke bucket when i cant. Its been real nice to not have to feel all 'oh god now i have to get up again to eat something thatll barf up anyways' when he's home. Waking up with warmth is prob the best part. I don't like the smell of his sprays though it triggers my senses off.

Right now my nausea tablets have kicked in and are stopping me from being sick but at the same time it makes me twitch and pain rushes constantly over me till its out of my system.

Im looking forward to it calming down. Im wanting to get out and walk around, maybe head to the gym downstairs (put matt on the treadmill to loose the mini belly roll hehe).

Apart of my is dead scared of going to the scan and there's no heartbeat. I know its normal to feel something like this. But ill be having my eyes covered to till hear it when it gets done.

Next week im going to the docs like the told me to during my 5th week. Not sure if its for a scan or just checkup but i better be given real good painkillers panadol doesnt do anything.

Ashley x