From happy to not happy.

A handful of times ive tried making an entry tonight.
But each time it ends up on how angry ive been getting
that i dont get cuddles and sleep alone with matthew
working away. he could get a job in auckland if he
actually tried! i dont know whats stopping him.
So i pretty much live at mums till hes home on
weekends. very angry about it.

I need physical contact at least be told how much
im missed.

I dont like the going back to the apartment when
he comes home cause it smells there and i end
up staying in bed sick even more and hes on his
xbox. The place needs to be fully cleaned including
everything wash ALL clothing ALL bedding even
the walls and carpet cause the smell is whats driving
me away from the place. If only i had my beanbag
cleaned and filled i could sit in the sun. But i dont
have the energy to go get it filled. ID get halfway
to the warehouse and ill need to vomit.
Thats what i really need, company.

Week 11-12 Scan

This is the 11-12 week baby scan.

You can see the fingers, arms, feet, legs, heartbeat, nose everything.
The converter i used only let me convert half the actual
video so you dont get to see them moving around.

The week 13 scan i just had after this they had the hiccups
and so were constantly bouncing around and had the fist
against their mouth :) Matthew couldn't
keep his eyes away from the screen.

7th July

Sooo heading to week 12 now. And im not getting any better.
I had one day last weekend where i didnt bring anything up.
Mum thinks its cause i was distracted.

Last night was horrible bewteen midnight and 8am i vomited 7 times.
Didnt have breaky till well after 2pm.

Today i got a list of midwives so ive emailed one so far.
I want to give birth at the Watakerie Birth Unit. Im already
formiliar with it and am confortable knowing i can give birth
where i was born and such.

I want it to hurry up and get to 6 months at least so i can put
a cot on layby. Going to paint it purple and paint lil diamonds
on it. I will know the type i want when i see it. Already got a
bassinet. Ahhh just want to do the shopping now. Iv been looking
forward to this first baby shopping for along time. I wont be using
my old teddys tho id rather have new ones ima buy Peter Rabbit and
duckies and such. Deff an elephant ill be looking out for a certain type
i use to have one and mums looking for the baby glow bub ones i had
one of those too every child should have one.

Back to bed.