A handful of times ive tried making an entry tonight.
But each time it ends up on how angry ive been getting
that i dont get cuddles and sleep alone with matthew
working away. he could get a job in auckland if he
actually tried! i dont know whats stopping him.
So i pretty much live at mums till hes home on
weekends. very angry about it.
I need physical contact at least be told how much
im missed.
I dont like the going back to the apartment when
he comes home cause it smells there and i end
up staying in bed sick even more and hes on his
xbox. The place needs to be fully cleaned including
everything wash ALL clothing ALL bedding even
the walls and carpet cause the smell is whats driving
me away from the place. If only i had my beanbag
cleaned and filled i could sit in the sun. But i dont
have the energy to go get it filled. ID get halfway
to the warehouse and ill need to vomit.
Thats what i really need, company.
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